Lose All Your Friend

1. Losing all your friends
Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.”

2. Brother wanted
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,”send me a brother”….
Santa wrote back, “SEND ME YOUR MOTHER”….

3. Meaning of WIFE
Husband asks, “Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means ‘Without Information Fighting Everytime’!”
Wife replies, “No, it means ‘With Idiot For Ever’!!!”

4. Importance of a period
Teacher: “Do you know the importance of a period?”
Kid: “Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.”

5. Confident vs. confidential
A young boy asks his Dad, “What is the difference between confident and confidential? ”
Dad says, “You are my son, I’m confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that’s confidential! ”

6. Anger management?
Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?”
Wife: “I clean the toilet.”
Husband: “How does that help?”
Wife: “I use your toothbrush .”

Sumber : Mayasari.net

Iklan

Smile for A While

1

Today I pass the friendship ball to you.
Pass it on t o someone who is a friend to you…

2 3

Okay, here goes, instantly when you receive this letter, you should send it to at least 10 people to brighten their day, including the person that sent it to you.

Always try to help a friend in need

4

Believe in yourself

5

Be brave…but it’s ok to be afraid sometimes

Study hard

7

Give lots of kisses
8
Laugh often

9

Don’t be overly concerned with your weight, it’s just a number
10

Always try to see the glass half full
11

Meet new people, even if they look different to you

121

Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless

13

Take lots of naps..

14

Be weird whenever you have the chance

15

Love your friends, no matter who they are

16

Don’t waste food

17

RELAX

18

Take an occasional risk

19

Try to have a little fun each day.
> …it’s important

20

Work together as a team

21

Share a joke with friends

22

Fall in love with someone..

23

…and say ‘I love you’ often

24

Express yourself creatively

9a

Be conscious of your appearance

25

Always be up for surprises

26

Love someone with all of your heart

27

Share with friends

28

Watch your step

29

It will get better

30

There is always someone who loves you more than you know

31

Exercise to keep fit

32

Live up to your name

33

Seize the Moment

34

Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between

35

Indulge in the things you truly love

36

Cherish every Sunday

37

At the end of the day… PRAY

38

……. and close your eyes And smile at least once a day

39

40

Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

The challenge is on – can you open the spreadsheet? This is a real 5th grade math problem.

If you can open the spreadsheet, you’ll see that only a small list of people ( older than 5th graders) have gotten the correct answer.

This is not a trick question. This is a real math problem so don’t say that a bus has no legs.

There are 7 girls in a bus.
Each girl has 7 backpacks.
In each backpack, there are 7 big cats.
For every big cat, there are 7 little cats.

Question: How many legs are there in the bus?
The number of legs is the password to unlock the excel spreadsheet.If you open it, add your name to the list and send it on to see who else can unlock it.

Download File :

1) http://www.jualbeliponsel.com/Smarter_Than_a_5th_Grader.xls

Enjoy!

Can’t Read, You Think

The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighbourhood childre
n anxiously waiting to play on it. After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave
up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighbouring yard.

The old-timer came over, threw the directions away and in a short while had the set completely assembled.

“It’s beyond me,” said the father, “How you got it together without even reading the instructions.”

“To tell the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you can’t read, you’ve got to think.”

Skip, not skipping :P

An obese blonde with unhealthy overweight, went to  Doctor.

Her doctor put her on a diet with strict advise. ” I want you to eat regularly for two days and then skip a day. I want you to repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, this is amazing!” the doctor said, “So you did follow my instructions?”

The blonde nodded yes. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”

“From hunger, you mean?” The Doctor asked.

“No, from skipping”, The Blonde explained .